tales of a sixth grade nothing: natty is as natty does.

I am very different person than I was when I was in the 6th grade.

However, something I said to a friend of mine continues to haunt me to THIS very day.

In sixth grade, I was what some may refer to as "the shit". I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was bright, funny, athletic, had a boyfriend... basically the jealous dream of every sixth grade girl in the world. (iJoke, iKid).

There were four girls in my sixth grade class. We did everything together. Did homework, played basketball, cracked jokes. Everything. Together. Always. Ironically enough, in my predominately white school (at that time, it no longer is), there was only one white girl in the group. I hope she reads this... still have made love for that whole crew.

Even more ironic, this story isn't about her.

The story is about "Chico". To this very day, I have no idea why we nicknamed her Chico. But that is what we called her... and always called her. If I see her tomorrow, I will exclaim "CHICO!". (Sixth grade girls make no sense.) Anyway, in the sixth grade I was proudly sporting my permy hair up and down the hallway. I think people may refer to that as "stunting" these days, but whatever you call it, I. WAS. DOING. IT.

The white girl of course had straight hair, as did I, and one of the other black girls. However, "Chico" did not. She had natural hair that she wore in pigtails/braids. I didn't get why her hair wasn't permed like ours. I mean, pigtails were for little girls, and we were NOT little girls. I remember distinctly saying, "Chico, when you gonna get a perm!?" I was literally exasperated at the thought of her natural pigtails bouncing all around.
Chico went to a different school the next year. I'm a 90s child, so we didn't have all the cell phones, facebook, and twitter hullabaloo that our younger siblings have access to. As far as I was concerned, I didn't know if I would ever see Chico again. I always thought about her when my bus passed her house on Bender though.

Time passed.

I stopped being the "shit" and became a normal self-absorbed teenager like everyone else. I went to high school with all my middle school friends. Swept up in a pool of creamy goodness (only some will catch that joke), I relished in my effervescent Afrikan-ness without even know what I was doing. My fellow MLHS alums can recall step routines during black history month chapels, questioning the validity of pictures of white jesus everywhere and the demand to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr's bday. (we never had off on that day, neither did we celebrate. I raised a stink and as soon as we graduated, that day was marked off on the calendar).  During my senior, I got really bold... I told my mom that I was threw with perms and wanted to wear my hair natural. (the look of most of my friends at that time equated to the phrase: "DA HELL!?" I wasn't bold enough to do it before graduation. Besides, there are just somethings you CAN'T do in your mother's house.

I graduated and LEFT Milwaukee. I mean I LEFT that place. Three weeks after graduation I moved to Washington, DC. I haven't spent more than two weeks in Milwaukee since then. I miss my family, but I have to admit.... I'm an east-coaster now.

December 2004, in Crandall Hall RM101 in the Harriet Tubman Quadrangle on Howard University's campus... I sat in my room struggling to take out yet ANOTHER set of Senegalese Twists that I BEGGED to get. With pain and agony mixed with an extreme bout of laziness, I called in my Resident Assistant and asked her to CUT THEM THANGS OFF.

So at 1am, after fall classes were complete but before I went home for break, we cut ALL of my hair off.

No shame in my game.

I went to my aunts house the next day. I put a little dye in my hair and proudly boarded the plane to Milwaukee.

For those of you who know me today, you know that my hair is far from the itty bitty afro it was in December 2004. My philosophy on hair is completely different than it was at that time as well. I am not the one to say all girls with natty's are DOWN and all permies are "confused". but I will readily admit that it will be over my own dead body that any of my daughters will place a perm in their head (no offense to Madame CJ Walker, but dag woman, I wish you coulda made ur millions off of our natural beauty!).

Anyway, I still feel bad about my insistence for "Chico" to perm her hair. To this very day. I always wanted her to know that I felt different now. Not that she cared, not that she even remembered, but just to say that is not how I feel anymore.

About 2 hours ago, I was on Facebook... procrastinating, as usual... and a friend suggestion was in my mailbox.

You will not believe who it was..... (yeah, you will).

Yup, Chico.

It's been over 10 years....and there's her picture....and her hair.... permed.

*cue 808s and Heartbreak*

Just kidding. Her hair is pretty, but of course, I still feel guilty. (what kinda self-confidence does one have to have to honestly believe that some comments she made in sixth grade have any bearing on the adult decisions that a woman makes over 10 years later? i dunno, but i guess thats what God gave me... I hope I learn to use my imagined powers for good one day.)

Chico, I'm sorry for ever being in your ear in the 6th grade telling you to get a perm. I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't know any better at the time. I love your hair then, NOW...more than ever. Nevertheless, I'm glad to see you on facebook. Hopefully, we can reconnect sometime when (if) I make it back to Milwaukee. Glad to see you doing well! Peace, Monique

blogging is NOT a habit...however, stuntin is...

I think I enjoy coming up with titles for my posts more than I actually like to write them.

Today is blah.

I'm unmotivated, uninterested, unmoved.

I didn't study my Yoruba.

I didn't work on my AP.

I didn't re-do my resume.

I told myself that I was going to take the time to write blogs everyday during black history month. Today is going to be a fail on that account.

Clearly, I should have went to the gym this morning. Maybe I would have some more energy.

Twitter, I miss you. (so lame)

anyway.... where's my boo at? <--- yes, that is what I meant to say.

GUD NITE.

you want 25 facts?? here you go... take this DELAWARE and shove it!!

Nothing beats a warm summer day with no work to do. Hands down (like 6:30, yun).

Today was our little taste of spring here in the dirty D E eeeezy.
Though the taste of sunshine was refreshing, it did not automatically put me in that "mmmm hmmm" feel good mood like in the past. After careful deliberation, I can only come to one conclusion for the lack of enthusiasm for living on this beautiful day.


*DELAWARE FLIPPIN SUCKS*

Now, I have come to this conclusion based on the following:

1. it is Delaware, and in general, people know that it sucks.

2. nothing of any relevance to my human existence is within walking distance of my home

3. no free super cool places to go to, look at, take pictures by, talk about...etc...

4. when the sun shines, I still don't care

5. club? GTFOH. never happening.

6. I have to go to another state to catch an airplane

7. tolls. booooooooo.

8. car insurance is more expensive here

9. it does not have "The Diner" - in affect, all places that are not Washington, DC suck because of this

10. people can not take public transportation to my house, if you don't have a car, you can basically never surprise visit me

11. i have to beg people to visit

12. no one goes "Ohhhh you live in Newark, DE??? That must be fuuuuuun!" EVER.

13. groceries are mad expensive here

14. the eye candy is few and far between, you probably won't see University of Delaware on the Top 10 universities with "pretty" people.... shallow? yes. a reason nonetheless? OF COURSE.

15. people kill themselves here. thats enough alone!

16. halfsmoke?!??

17. A BEEF PATTIE!?!?!?!

18. there is 1, i repeat ONE, Target in the entire state

19. zero sales tax is irrelevant when there isn't any fun places to shop

20. i have never spent this much time in front of a computer screen in my natural born life

21. WalMart is far away too

22. again... no public transportation for my life!

23. no local news.

24. no local anything on television. Good morning Philadelphia! MYPHi Wake Up, Philly.....

25. I can still hear 92.3 in my car





*LISTEN TO KNOCKS ME OFF OF MY FEET - STEVIE WONDER
a feel good goodie

ventilation....u think its meat thats making me crazy? Top 20 Things I hate TODAY.

It's not like I am dishonest or really have any secrets. I don't know if it is the month of November, the weather, the moon, an orisha, or what... but I've been in the SHARING (telling it how I really feel) mood lately.

1. it annoys me when people put they are an "ALUM" of some place when they went there and never graduated.

2.i hate when people call you back after u texted them.

3. i hate styrofoam... hate hate hate it

4. i hate....yes, hate....the fact that my parents don't have no money

5. i hate when people get too close to me, especially strangers

6. oddly enough, i hate when people act like they don't want to touch me

7. i hate when people touch my laundry unless they are about to fold it

8. i hate snow (aversion, I guess)

9. i hate when men have fingernails, either cut them, bite them.... i just don't ever wanna see you grow a nail

10. i hate when people make my friends upset

11. i hate that i am a procrastinator

12. i hate people who ain't got time

13. i hate when people are supergay in real life and all over the internet they are attemting to be hella hetero. stop it.

14. i hate hate hate hate when CERTAIN men always attribute the "dating black men crisis"to the need for everyone to just be gay...homosexuality, for me is not the answer to everything

(for those who don't know....know i'm number one unafraid supporter of the gay community...but I can be honest and "CERTAIN" knows who they are)

15. i hate being cold in my bed

16. i hate people who don't share! its community building people

17. i hate when people talk like they aren't sure what they are saying by adding "u know" "i dunno" "i guess" or "yah" to the end of every sentence they speak

18. I hate having to warm my car up in the winter time

19. i hate ketchup on my half smokes

20. i hate manipulators.

----------------
Now playing: Tyrese - Signs of Love Makin'
via FoxyTunes

favorite books

I think people show how they adore ignorance when they place something to the affect of:

"Books?"
"I don't read books..."
"I don't like to read..."
"Um....."
Names of various magazines

on their "Favorite Books" section on Facebook.

In this case, NOTHING is better than just SOMETHING.

just how i feel.

thanks and other ponderings

My ultimate gratitude is extended to all those who have already submitted entries for my "Reflections on the 2008 Presidential Election". The project seems to be coming together nicely and I am looking forward to reading upcoming entires and hopefully everyone will be eager to read them as well.

I hate my graduate degree program. I wish I had chosen to do something else. I wish I was into the program and could love it and indulge myself intellectually into what it has to offer...

but I can't.

What do I do next?

I want another master's degree. Where do I go? What do I study? What do I want to do with my life????

I know I want to teach.

I want to be a professor.

(I want to work at Howard in my own little office full of books and hold office hours, do research, write books, talk to students, wear Howard 'nalia)

I'm looking at Africana Studies, African American Studies, African American Literature, Education Policy, Curriculum and Instruction, MEd and EdD programs....I just do not know.

I know I need to write.
I have a responsibility to teach.

NYANSAPO

NYANSAPO

"wisdom knot"

symbol of wisdom, ingenuity, intelligence and patience

An especially revered symbol of the Akan, this symbol conveys the idea that "a wise person has the capacity to choose the best meeans to attain a goal. Being wise implies broad knowledge, learning and experience, and the ability to apply such faculties to practical ends." *

*www.welltempered.net - Adinkra Symbols

It seems like I can never make plans for my life. Everytime I plan an event, a weekend, or anything, things never turn out quite right. Hardly ever is it a turn for the worst, but you can believe that it is normally a turn for the interesting. This weekend has been unusually informative for me. It seems that the recurring theme was "wisdom." As a student of Africana, there are sets of ancestors that I trust in knowledge and in practice. It is hurtful in many ways when you find a way in which you feel your ancestor has failed. One of my sisters and I have been enveloped in an ongoing dialogue questioning our position as women in (and of) the discipline.

The question is: How come our male intellectual counterparts continue to seek and find emotional, sexual, and ultimate (defined by marriage) kindred friendships with females that are not African?

For Example:

Frantz Fanon, author of Wrethed of the Earth and Black Skin, White Masks, who took a critical look at race, class, social constructs and other facets of exploitation and colonization. His books were not mere theoretical surface level hobknob but writings that are still influential on conscious and revolutionary political thought.

For example here is Franz Fanon:

Here is about his wife: By the time he published his first book, "Peau Noire, Masques Blancs," he had abandoned the philosophy of Negritude for what he described as a so-called "non-racist humanism" as if loving yourself and your culture is racist. In the same year as the publication of his first book, he married a white, French woman, Marie-Josephe ("Josie") Duble in October 1952, suggesting continuing, unresolved ambivalence and conflict regarding his own blackness. Fanon's relationship with a difficult and rejecting mother is also implicated here. (raceandhistory.com - Frantz Fanon)

This little tid bit of information blew the hell out of my sister and of course others I am sure....

Does anyone have a theory explaining this phenomenon?

if this is the case, the further I find myself in the discipline the further away I can imagine myself creating a life with a partner that is my counterpart in intellectualism?

that is hurtful, and frankly I refuse to accept any notion that that is the inevitable truth for me and all of my sisters

that doesn't make sense

the whole premise of my participation in the discipline is the discovery that i am not a mammie, i am not asexual or "over"sexualized, and i am deserving of companionship, deserving of a male counterpart....

deserving of love.

Where are they? Where are these brothers that are rooted in the discipline and wanted women likewise? Speak up. Speak out. We are here to listen!

How does this relate to wisdom.....

think AA: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference...

Also, it is quite apparent that I am at that age where is wisdom is not only sought but delievered at this age. It is our turn to deliver wisdom to our young proteges, our mentors and mentees.

Last week, I had the opportnity to listen to a reading by the lovely Sonia Sanchez, and she said the following: "Let me wear the day well so when it reaches you, you will enjoy it." (a haiku) I live my life in hopes that their futures will be better than mine. An amazing poem, indeed. We have crossed the threshold into that area seeking wisdom and delivering it at the same time.

I wish this entry was better organized, but its late and a lot is on my mind.

Visit the National Visionary Leadership Project.

What's your decision?

I don't understand why people try to fake like there aren't times when your life comes to crossroads. Places where decisions have to be made. One has to decide to be or not to be, to do or not to do, to or not to..... These decisions are often made without thinking. There are the decisions that are made with thoughtful consideration, like the decision to jump into a relationship or end one for that matter. The decision to move away, start a new job, go to school, start a career.... those are the decisions that one thinks long and hard about.... but do people take the time to think about the bigger more significant crossroad or do they make haphazard and fleeting decisions when the time comes??
I think about spending an evening with Soledad O'brien as she was the opening lecturer for Latino Heritage Month at UD. She is great speaker, captivating, entertaining and quite enjoyable. However, as always there are the things that I tend to focus on.... one's relationship to community, there overt realization of self, self-awareness, responsibility to community and humanity.... just those types of things. Soledad commented on the fact to a young girl with an accent that was considering a career in broadcast journalism that losing the accent would not be problem and the classes would be cheap. My first and most apparent issue would be the dismissle of personal culture the culture of your family and language of your history.... the fact that that must take second place to your career is beyond my realm of understanding.... but it is even deeper than that. Soledad was raised in Long Island... she had a Long Island accent... that which is truly an American invention, but even that... that little bit of "otherness" was in her way of pursuing her career. She took the classes...found a husband that fit the picture....and is living her life.... Did she think about that decision? Did she think about telling that (speaking not only with her words but by her clear actions) to that young girl? Those are the big...life changing/altering decisions...

THE CHOICES people MAKE.

If you say Sorry then follow with a But....

YOURE NOT REALLY SORRY

Thanks Rashid for sharing that bit of knowledge with me.

I was going to say, "I'm sorry BUT i don't have sympathy for pregnant females who are my age, not finished with school, and weren't planning on having a child..."

However... that but means.... I'm not really sorry

and upon further reflection... I'm not....

my life sucks right now, I need some help and I would LOVE some support....

my situation: honors student, one year left, double minor, recipient of SEVERAL prestigious awards, honors, internships, and invitations....

STD FREE
baby FREE
drama FREE

I'm by NO MEANS an UNATTRACTIVE WOMAN...

I am a pleasant person whom many consider a GREAT FRIEND....
I am God FEARING, seeking a stronger relationship with the LORD....


BUT NO ONE IS TRYING TO HELP ME SUCCEED.....

no bullshit....

I don't want to whine and complain... but this is getting ridiculous...

WHERE'S MY REWARD??? my appreciation? my thank you? I don't do this for others, I do this for me... but it seems like all my PREGGO female friends get mad support from EVERYONE for something that was their FAULT... yes I said FAULT.... (babies are a blessing NO DOUBT.... but it was NO ACCIDENT to have SEX.... none at all.... and I admit, I'm anti-abortion... but.....I'm not pregnant... and never have been....)

someone help me to find SYMPATHY.... explain to me why I should have some...

I don't have a place to live next semester because I didn't get housing, I don't have a car because my credit is outrageous after charging housing and registration deposits for three yrs on credit card cuz no one else could pay for it..... i work at least 2 jobs during the school year since I came to Howard... while achieving a 3.5gpa to keep my scholarship.....

shouldn't someone be supporting me???

when I say me... I'm speaking about all the sistas who are in my same position.... when they read it....they know who they are

we have concluded that boo-loving is a 100% hater-specific term.

I've been posting things here more often than usual!

So today, I went to one of my favorite (but secret) chill spots to study, grab something to eat, and of course people watch.

It was okay, more crowded than what I would have preferred, but I noticed one thing.... everybody was out doing their Sunday "boo-loving" ie...grabbing coffee while reading the sunday paper together, having breakfast before running sunday errands, coming from church and having a nice breakfast out before going home.... all the stuff....

i wish i was doing...

On the way home from work last night I was reading The Sex Chronicles by Zane... now I'm not one to ready trashy novels, when I first started reading it I felt like other people could tell I was reading the freakiness and were thinking to themselves how nasty of a person I am...

but more than anything Zane made me realize how lonely things can get when you are not boo-loving

we have concluded that boo-loving is a 100% hater-specific term.

People with boos do not use the term boo-loving. Haters do.

What am I?

A hater.

I can do it too...

So I'm watching Rachel Ray's Talk Show... from 30 Minute Meals to Network TV... she is doing big things. This just proves however that everyone and anyone can have a talk show. I want one. Today. Besides that, on here they are talking about step parenting and they have a life coach speaking. A life coach? quite possibly the most unnecessary job on the face of the earth. Life coaches are friends, family, coworkers, bosses, just about nyone who can give you advice. How does someone get to experience so much that they get to be deemed...life coach. I am sure this black woman who is on this episode doesn't know everything about counseling Rachel Ray's 99% caucasian female audience.

Its been crazy long since I have posted... trust 2007 will bring new stuff to this blog... I am way more interesting than this... Yo prometo!

White Rage Strikes Again

Wanna see something messy? Click play below.

But wait... it gets even messier....


Atrocious, inexcusable, an utter mess.... but who in the black community is going to call him out on it?

No one.

And that is what is so sad about this.