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FACT SHEET HIV/AIDS POLICY -- its OUR problem!

Black Americans have been disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS since the epidemic’s beginning, and that disparity has deepened over time.1,2 Blacks account for more new HIV infections, AIDS cases, people estimated to be living with HIV disease, and HIV-related deaths than any other racial/ethnic group in the U.S.The epidemic has also had a disproportionate impact on Black women, youth, and gay and bisexual men, and its impact varies across the country. Moreover, Blacks with HIV/AIDS may face greater barriers to accessing care than their white counterparts. Today, there are approximately 1.1 million people living with HIV/AIDS in the U.S, including more than 500,000 who are Black.5 Analysis of national household survey data found that 2% of Blacks in the U.S. were HIV positive, higher than any other group.

Women and Young People
• Black women account for the largest share of new HIV infections among women (61% in 2006) and the incidence rate among Black women is nearly 15 times the rate among white women.16
• Black women account for the majority of new AIDS cases among women (66% in 2007); white and Latina women account for 17% and 15% of new AIDS cases, respectively.1,13
• Black women represent more than a third (36%) of AIDS cases diagnosed among Blacks (Black men and women combined) in 2007; by comparison, white women represent 15% of AIDS cases diagnosed among whites in 2007.1,13
• Although Black teens (ages 13–19) represent only 15% of U.S. teenagers, they account for 68% of new AIDS cases reported among teens in 2007.17 A similar impact can be seen among Black children.

FOR MORE INFO: http://www.kff.org/hivaids/upload/6089-07.pdf

ACADEMIC: Confronting the Deep Change or Slow Death Dilemma

*disclaimer*
This is about an article I had to read for class. It's late, I've been at work all day, I am sure this entry lacks the coherence needed to fully establish my point, but as long as I draft it, I can perfect it in a paper later on down the line. If you're still reading after I said all that, bless your heart!"

Every once in awhile these management classes bless me with a little jewel of wisdom that allow me to appreciate ever so humbly the opportunities this education is going to afford me, and more importantly to appreciate my training to be a leader in my community.

For my Organization and Management class we were assigned selected chapters from Deep Change: Discovering the Leader Within by Robert E. Quinn. When the professor first mentioned the title of the book, I assumed that this would be another one of "those" readings. The readings that are full of anecdotal stories of positive change in organizations and North America and Europe that I won't be able to relate to unless I become a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. However, I was quite surprised when this chapter breathed pure life into my soul and inspired me to write (yet again this week).

The title of the chapter is Confronting the Deep Change or Slow Death Dilemma. As many may have ascertained (if you read this blog at all), I internalize just about everything that I watch and read. Every movie I've seen either parallels my spiritual, philosophical, or emotional viewpoints. So of course, if I begin to the same with a textbook either I am really making an active attempt to get something qualitative out of this degree or my mind is just so fragmented and ill-focused that there are somethings I just can't help but think about.

Whatever. I'll think about what I wanna think about when I wanna think about it. *kanye mug face*

Alhough the author is discussing organizational change as it relates to the individual and the workplace, I instantly began to draw correlations between the author's words to the struggle and journey of the black community in the United States. Seems like a bit of stretch I'm sure, but bear with me and see if you get where I'm going with this.

In the previous chapter the author determines that there comes a time in all life cycles in which change needs to occur. Incremental changes are reactionary responses to rational analysis and careful planning. They are often piecemeal and reversible if necessary. Deep changes are those that change structure, philosophy, thought, and outlook. They are not reversible. Deep change does not come from careful planning; it involves taking risks.
Quinn says, "Excellence, however, never lies within the boxes drawn in the past.... To bring deep change, people have to "suffer" the risks (take a stand against the status quo). And to bring about deep change in other, people have to reinvent (redefine) themselves."

Y'all beginning to feel me?

Personal relationships, internal struggles, Fortune 500 companies, community nonprofits all face point in which change is inevitable. The argument of the author is that there are really only two responses when one is confronted with change:
1. Deep Change
OR
2. Slow Death

The author discovers many times that slow death is the chosen option by many individuals (in the community). People recognize that a deep change is needed in the community and they opt to do nothing. People seek comfort in discover short-term personal survival over the understanding and ACCEPTANCE of long-term collective responsibility. (Now, I know y'all understand what I was talking about. Collective responsibility? UJIMA!!!)

The author then shares the boiled-frog experiment a methaphor for complacency v. action-oriented reactions to change. (If a frog is taken from cold water to boiling water it immediately jumps out, if its placed in a container of water that is gradually heated, eventually the water boils and the frog is dead.) <<<---- that's what slow death is. Complacency in the status quo. Acceptance of fate, claiming yourself as a victim with no alternative, incapable of seeing outside of the current contraints, unable to assume the responsibility of the collective... self-prescribed suicide.

The chapter describes in detail symptoms of slow death and explores the hypocrisy in those who instead of remaining complacent, actively disengage entirely by creating an exit strategy for themselves. The author names a number of reasons why the exit strategy is just another method for the same slow death.

So my takeaway from this weeks reading assignment:
To evolve as a people we cannot let self-interest triumph collective responsibility! No matter what has been done before! A call to action for deep change needs to be embedded in all aspects of community relation so we can forever eradicate the disease of slow death.

I'm sure my __________________ professor isn't expecting me to share something like this in class.

I doubt I will.

*Spoiler Alert* PUSH --- A Novel by Sapphire

Admittedly, I have been devoting very little time to personal reading because of the wealth of homework under my belt, but today I was so THROUGH with school and classwork that I read Sapphire's PUSH from cover to cover in less than five hours. The main reason I even ordered the book during my months book-sprees on Amazon is that I love to read the book before seeing the movie and all these "rabble-rousers" on twitter KEPT tweeting about the movie so I needed to get the background story so I, too, could sing America.

I wasn't wowed by the book. The story is intriguing of course, but the writing didn't capture me. I don't know what I was expecting... but I felt as if the story fell flat... as if it were unfinished, and not in the intentional thought-provking manner that authors sometimes intend, but in a way that makes you wonder if the author just quit. *kanye shrug*

In summary: PUSH is written by its main character Claireece Precious Jones. The book is compilation of her thoughts, journals, and experiences over the last eighteen years of her life. Her life circumstances are deplorable beyond imagination. At the age of 16, she is in the 8th grade reading at a 2nd grade level. Her mother physically, sexually, and verbally abuses her. Her birth father molests her from age three until age sixteen and impregnates her twice, once at age 12 and again at age 16. After finally making the strides to take control of her life and assume an identity that she never had the opportunity to properly develop or explore her mother alerts her that her father died from HIV. Precious gets tested and finds out she is HIV positive as well. Precious is an eighteen year old HIV positive mother with an eighth grade education.

There are interesting concepts highlighted in the book. Minister Louis Farrakhan is an idol of her, representing the true essence of what a man should be. She is heavily influenced by the Minister's speeches and the beliefs of the Nation of Islam.

Precious equates her dark complexion as another thing she has fallen victim to. She describes to her teacher that in a perfect world she would be light-skinned so that people would love her. During her reflection on being invisible to all those she interacted with she mentions that she wishes that people saw as a little white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. The commentary on colorism continues as Precious develops relationships with other women in her class. She identifies personality traits with skin complexion and constantly reflects on her own dark skin.

The book definitely allows the reader to see Precious' character develop throughout the story. The most explicit examples are the sample writings from her journal. Her vocabulary, sentence structure, and language usage improves throughout the story. Her character also develops mentally. She redefines her ties to the teachings of Minister Farrakhan after finding out that her beloved teacher is a homosexual. She reevaluates her self-worth after gaining friends and mentors who are looking out for her. Precious grows throughout the entire story.

My favorite part of the entire book is when it comes time for the student's in Precious' class to recite a poem from memory to the front of the class. I almost jumped out my bed when I turned the page and realized she was going to recite "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes. I can remember my mother quoting lines from that poem throughout my entire childhood and as you read the story you understand why that was the most appropriate choice.

I can now in good conscious see Tyler Perry's Precious.

Internet Connection is bad...

I haven't given an update in a few days because the internet connection has been so bad. I'll recap quickly and hopefully tomorrow I can deliver a better analysis of my time here.

5. Today I held a $1300 bottle of wine (vintage 1956).

4. Dinner cannot last less than 3 hours during this trip.

3. I could listen to waves all day everyday. The most soothing sound ever. (authentic) Those Sounds of the Ocean CDS would never cut the cake.

2. I ate lunch at the beach bar today. I ate a tuna sandwich with a pineapple coconut coleslaw. Mims "This is Why I'm Hot" played in the background.

1. Me & Bacon = Fatal Attraction

I'm learning so much while being here. I can't wait to further cultivate the relationships that I have developed here. (seriously)

Oh yeah, I have to blog about the near death experience. Don't worry, trust me, I will not forget.

this one thing about my wedding is NON NEGOTIABLE! (yup this is all about food)

I woke up at 7am this morning.

I went to sleep at 3am.

I was not a happy camper.

I went to breakfast at 730am and at ate like the queen that I am. I had a fried egg with fried pumpkin and it was soooooo good.

After that, I waded in the glorious Atlantic Ocean for awhile and then went back to my room for a mid morning nap.

When I woke up, I put on my swimming suit and went straight to the beach with a bag full of school work. The beach was crowded (not with people, its real small, just not a lot of room to keep my stuff dry) to study so I moved my books to the pool. I played in the waves a bit and got my tan started. I accomplished reading two chapters (about 75 pages) of my Local Economic Development text book while I literally baked in the sun. August in Egypt has nothing on October in Tobago. IT IS SO HUMID. I was sweating all day, not moving, not thinking, not doing anything but sitting and dripping in sweat.

For lunch I had a delicious seafood salad. if my internet was working I would upload a pic... just know that it had rock fish, lobster, and shrimp.... soooo delicious.

After my afternoon bake, I went to my room and took a nap (because you know the sun does drain all the living energy out of you). I woke up to news that we were on our way to dinner. We went to a buffet that was absolutely delicious. Sweet potatoes in coconut sauce FTW and spicy coconut chicken... my word! For desert I had pineapple sorbet with honey cake. Undoubtedly, the best desert I have ever eaten. It is an absolute must have on my wedding day. I am not kidding (check my FB status). The future husband has absolutely no say in this matter.

My posts may seem extremely vague but I am trying to limit any information about my job or coworkers, but I most def should talk about it. Ask me sometimes... better yet, I'm sure I'll drop some knowledge on my twitter page when I can.

The last member of our nine person team has just arrived and I have just been invited to the resort bar by my supervisors. Mind you it is 11:30pm, I should take advantage, eh? I guess I might...

It's cold and rainy you say? NOT HERE!

Today was a short work day. We did one site visit and I am beginning to see the inevitable problems working here. Cultural disconnects abound and I wish I was properly trained to handle them. Sometimes (all the time) I wonder what Dr. Carr would do to get the material across in this instant. He has the experience relating in school administration and I just know that he could do this much better in his sleep.

Today was my first day driving on the right side of the car on the left side of the road. Really, I think this makes more sense and the US should just switch all of their streets to do the same. NOW. Please and thank you.

My supervisor left the lights on in the car (in the daytime) and the batter went dead so we had to call for a ride. Poo poo.

For all those who I said I'd email, I'm going to get to it soon.

It's rainy season here, so its been pretty wet out. But the good kind of summer showers that make you wanna.... (in janet jackson voice) well, you know....

I am waiting for my phone(s) to charge so I can head to the mall and see what dey talmbout out dere.

wish I had some homeys here with me....

but alone it makes me feel like How Stella Got Her Groove Back....

oh and I could so work internationally. i dig this.

happy birthday fela & my day 1 in tobago

Right now, I am sitting on the patio of my hotel room at the Bacolet Beach Club Hotel in Tobago, West Indies. It's dark. I'm listening to "watergetnoenemy" by Fela Kuti. I hear the subtle nestling roar of the Atlantic Ocean. It's warm, not humid, very comfortable.

The atmosphere.... is serene.

Today was my first full day on the wonderful island of Tobago. I am not going to talk about my job on this blog, because it just isn't necessary....but trust, I have plenty to say.

1. I got to Philadelphia Airport yesterday and the airline told me that my ticket was voided. 60 minutes before I could get on the plane. *jaw drop* I called my office crying because everyone who could help me was in Tobago...with non working US cell phones. Long story short, they managed to reissue a ticket to me 20 minutes before the plane took off.

2. The airline lost my luggage. My body was in Tobago, my luggage was in New York. I confess, last night I took a shower because of all the grime of the day and had to bareback the next day because I didn't have any luggage. Luckily I threw a dress in my carry-on. I considered it inappropriate for work, but my colleagues who are not LIKE ME said it looked great. Hey, whatever works.

3. I got my luggage.

4. Yall remember this episode of the Cosby show? Part 1 Part 2 Cliff talks about the dinner he and Claire had on their honeymoon at the Callaloo Pot. He sings about it all throughout the episode. "Callalooooooooo!" I take you on that television journey because today I had CALLALOOOOOO with my dinner and it was absolutely delicious. I am sure I will have it again before I leave. Oh and I had the best dinner ever: grilled lobster, grilled shrimp and steamed swordfish with cassava on the side. yuuuuuuum!!!!

5. I got invited to a party in Trinidad by this guy on the plane. His mom works at one of the places my job partners with in Tobago. Small ass world.

6. On first look, people think I am the local escorting the people here from my job. Sorry bruh, I aint from here....but I'll kindly respond to your advances cuz it's only 10 days, its beautiful here, and odds are i'll never see you again.

7. I think I'm from here. I could stay here, no bull.

8. I got someone to buy me lunch. I don't get that kinda play in Delaware. I can't even buy a dude dinner there. #iknowimhotidontneednobodyindelawaretotellme

9. Cable television, local Miami news and local New York news. I don't get it.

10. Best news of all, I havent spent a single dime here. Not a single cent since I was at home Tuesday and ate Olive Garden with the roomie. Loving every minute of this.

11. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can call me 868-398-0468 from a UD telephone if you really need me.

much love, admiration, respect to being in this space

Tobago - Day 1

Today I get on the plane and ride into the sunshine that is the wonderful island of Tobago. I will be spending ten days and eleven nights on the island with my job. My plan is to update this blog once a day, God willing. Pray for safe travels.

THIS IS IT!

BLOWN (retitled)

i cant help
but to be and continue to become
the woman
God intended me to be
i have no control of mine
or your
destiny
yet i feel compelled
to feel a certain way
about certain people
if i respect u
i show you
if i admire u
i show you
if i love you
i show you
even if you dont
care, wish, desire
to see
it hurts.
its a blessing
and a curse.

untitled continued 9/8/09

Aye
I can't believe I'm writing
a poem
about
THIS NIGGA
he dont care nothing about me
he aint thinking of me
he aint worried about a daggone thing
I'M DOING
but he stays on my mind
I have vivid dream about his soft touch
his masculine body, his loving warmth
his intensely beautiful skin
the beauty of his glorious....
even the taste of his breath left
on my lips
you just don't know
just the concept of the mere existence of a man
who digs what I bring
is beyond conceivable dreams
i miss this him
this him whom I never met
this him that only existed in my subconscious
this him that has been prayed for since i was a young girl
if he's not here now
when will he come
when will he make his presence known
when will he be
where i want him to be

untitled 9/8/2009

Langston Hughes
once said
my motto is
as i live and learn
is to dig
and be dug in return
when i think about
my position on the earth
my role in society
my purpose in life
i am constantly seeking
that understanding
that mmmm hmmm
of empathy
appreciation
love
and comprehension
i think of a man
of strength
compassion
safety and comfort
i see him standing
emitting rays of love
seeking a comprehension

Yay! It's good to know homeys! :-)

Obama Rally College Park, MD

Test

http://www.mediafire.com/?z00yrttaywm

"....time's a wastin'......"

I woke up this morning and this song was on my mind.... (to listen click the link to this post)

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Run baby, run, run
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a man
Takin' full command
Cause we're

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Sweet love and sunshine
If it's all in the air
Then it's all on your mind
Breathe baby
Come back to the world
Dig up all your pearls
Teach the boys and girls, hey

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain't no tellin where you'll land

Ain't no tellin, oh, oh...

Jambo Means Hello

There are times in your adult life where you wish you could regress to the days of your childhood. When things were so much simpler, and your biggest concern is if a certain boy liked you, if you could go outside after dinner, or if you caught this weeks episode of Moesha.

I woke up this morning thinking about the children's story, Jambo Means Hello. I am sure not everyone had this included in their reading lists, but it was one of my favorites. Actually, all the books that my mom read to me that showcased black girls were especially fascinating to me....mainly, because I honestly thought I could be one of those girls. Smiling, waving, playing, imagining....living on the pages of these stories.

JAMBO!!!!!

Anyway, I am still in the hospital, but I thought I should share with you guys some of the interesting events that have happened while I was here. First of all, my first Lab Tech referred to himself as BIG JOHN, not just John but BIG JOHN. He was a barrel of laughs and was persistently hitting on my grandmother the entire length of his shift. (ask bout #graciej another day!) He even gave us an autographed picture of himself wearing a ballerina costume. This man was all about jokes. Lemme tell you how the rest of the Lab Techs went down hill from there. The rest didn't say much except for this Jamaican woman. While she was taking my blood pressure her cell phone rang and she proceeded to answer it while she whispered that her son was getting picked up someone and she had to make sure that he was picked up on time. Now, for a split second I was like "the nerve of this woman answering her celly in the middle of being with a patient" Then I got all: it's hard being a single mother, and it is her child, I understand" But then come to find out: She's happily married and the woman picking the child up was one of the husbands girl-friends and she was calling to really be nosy....

The lady in the bed next to me, I am not sure what type of procedure she had but she was throwing up all over the place yesterday evening. Ain't nothing like listening to the sound of yakking. They kept saying there was a chance that I might throw up because of the medicine used to put me under. When I came out of surgery, my skin was on fire. I was scratching all over and it would not stop and that was immediately after surgery when it was literally killing me to talk....but that hour after is kind of a blur. I was in and out of consciousness from about 11a to 2pm.

I have peed like one million thousand times since I have been here. The peeing procedure requires me to unhook my legs from this blood clot prevention machine, move the TV, unplug my IV, gather up my backless gown and drag myself and the IV 20 feet to the bathroom, where I have to ask the nurse to dump out the "hat" in the toilet that sees how much I have peed (a ridiculous amount!). After which I gather my belongings and head back to the bed to hook myself back up. I'm telling you hospital living is the life.

Hopefully, I will be leaving here in the next two hours, and this blog can get back to being interesting instead of increasingly boring and disgusting about my wonderful "tonsil" experience...

....maybe I'll be able to sing after this!

2009 just keeps getting better and better

Well... here I am.

Tonsiless.

The surgery wasn't bad at all. It lasted about an hour. I thought I was going home right away but lo and behold. I am inside of a hospital room next to a lady who is hourly throwing up her guts (literally, I think her guts are coming out). I like this room though. If college was more like this and less like the Quad, I might have been 1000x more productive.

First let me say, I am in the hospital room... blogging. Free Wi-fi you ask? Nope. Complimentary dial-up perhaps? Never that.

My television screen doubles as the throwback Web-TV. My aunt had that back in THE DAY.... I'm talking mid 90s and we loved it, but this newer version has fully functional internet capabilities.

(pause, my IV alarm is going off... I might be seeing MJ soon....)

I survived.

At the moment, I'm bumping my Badu & ErRo station on Pandora, on Facebook, live blogging from Christiana Hospital and you know I'm seconds of way from live tweeting these events as well...

Hospital visits have gotten to be quite exciting.

It's 7:30p and I've been here since 6:30a. My grandma was here with me since this morning. In case I haven't mentioned it lately. #graciej aka Grandma is my superhero. Since I was young, I've always been my grandma's favorite (hahaha....at least I like to think so... I'm sure my cousins might read this and roll their eyes, but hey that's what family is for right?!) but she's always been my fave. I brag about my grandma all the time. I joke and kid about her grandma ways but she was a parole officer and temporarily a nurse and is immensely knowledgeable about politics, home decor, sewing, and cooking. I don't think I could imagine a more awesome grandma than (I need to study on proper usage of then/than again smh) her.

This evening, Candice & Malia came by and that absolutely made my day. I love them. As much as I despise this Delaware experience, they have been holding me down since Day 1! They even brought Grandma dinner and took her home. THE MUTHAFUGGIN BEST YALL!

Though I am ready for school to start, I know it is going to be harder and harder for us to hang out, but we will find a way. It is most def cool to know that after I leave here, I'm still going to be finding a way to salsa from Candice's aunt and to go to family functions at MayMays house.

My throat doesn't feel too bad, but the doctor said that it is going to get worse and for adults, it usually takes a week, week and half to fully recover. I hope by August 31st I am back in action... well really by August 29th....(and you besta know y, otherwise we aren't friends)... I take that back, that's not fair of me but please believe that for the rest of my life and my children's lives August 29th, 1958 will be celebrated in full effect.

My dad sent me a 21 capacity grill for my bday and I CANNOT WAIT to get on that boy and cook up some food. I love to entertain... more importantly I love to cook. Hopefully some chicken, some burgers, and salmon (if I get ambitious) with a few bottles of wine will end out summer out right.

Well I am trying to stay up late enough to watch Project Runway, which is a must, I've been dying for that show to come back.... and they haven't given me any real dinner or PERCASET so sleep can wait.

....each day here just gets REALER and REALER....

this too is an example of a friend you keep

in response to the last post.....

Dear Jesus,

I know you're probably kickin it with MJ right now (and You know I'm super jealous about that, btw), but I have to ask you a favor. My girl Monique (aka Mo-Stacks, Hatshepsut, MoMo, Bunny Carrots) is about to go into surgery. Once ur done with the listening party for all of MJ's unreleased tracks, I'd really appreciate it if you'd show Mo some Heavenly love.

I'm not sure where she is on the waiting list, but for the record, she pretty fucking awesome--no disrespect, Lord. If you were here, in human-form I mean, I know yall would kick it hard. You know how you like wine and all? Well she bartends! And she makes Sangria!

Anyway, if you don't have the time, it would be even cooler if you could send MJ down to kiss her forehead or something before surgery. I mean, I'm not saying You aren't cool...It's just that she's an MJ fan. But not more of a fan of him than You (of course).

Well, Christ, talk to you soon. Take care. (Amen?)

~Malia

"...aye do me a favor call me jerk one more time..."

In less than 12 hours, I will be in an operating room at Christiana Hospital having my tonsils removed. Of this, I am not happy. How did I get here? How did I get to this moment, in this apartment, in this city? What were the steps that landed me here???? Why am I still here?

Simply answered: Honey, they are paying for your Masters Degree.

Well good for them.... but I am goin to claim that some irreversible damage has been done to me because of it...

First, I am going to be the first to say that all those native Delawareans that are so friggin in love with the First State to sit the phuck down and shut the hell up ...

I honestly love you all. But I just don't think you have heard me clearly

Secondly, no one can tell me I haven't made the most of this experience here. I have always been the one attempting to make ANY and EVERYTHING fun... even lame ass Newark, DE. In the one year I have been here, I have had some amazing once in a lifetime opportunities and have met some amazing people.

I still hate it here.

Thirdly.... I didn't think I would say this..... but while I have fallen in love with many members of the black community in this area.... the younger generation, those in my age bracket, have literally blown the S.H.!.T outta me.

I just don't get why the hospitable spirit has seemed to escape all of them...

you know what I wanna say so much more

but its going to get way to personal... so I'll save that for the notebook

anyway.... Delaware and its inhabitants (infer what you will) most definitely gave me mono. Across the country, if I told any black person I got mono, their first response would be: "I didn't know black people caught mono." followed by "You got you a yte boy out there, Mo?"

well.... despite both of those incredible odds... I caught the mono.

Got the worst type. Had the case that happens 1 in 1000 times. Had to have emergency surgery.

talk about THE muthafuggin L

now, because of the mono, the surgery..... I've had tonsilitis for the last 4 months.... which will finally be taken care of tomorrow morning

I'm a little scared tho...

surgery makes me nervous

"Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, and hopefully everything will come out alright."

dont be jealous this doesnt happen on your bday!

finally, the actual video.

Musiq Soulchild - Sobeautiful OFFICIAL VIDEO

Musiq Soulchild - "sobeautiful"

Reflections of the Man in the Mirror - RIP MJ

Since birth, I have been a Michael Jackson fan.

Well, maybe not since birth.... but it has been a long time. The first CD I ever personally purchased was "Dangerous" and I jammed that CD at the tender age of 12 throughout the house driving my mother and half the neighborhood crazy. On Saturdays, which were classic "lets-clean-the-entire-house" days in our family, I would begin by placing DISC 1 of the HISTORY CD in my boombox and get to work. I was known (and you can ask my brothers) for playing Rock With You on repeat for days on in... that song remains my favorite to this day. When Michael was going through his legal troubles in 2003, one of my besties Amber and I rocked "Free Michael" Tshirts and Trucker hats in his name (wearing them to our senior farewell in our true spit in your face attitudes that we held at ML)....

I am not what you call a bandwagon MJ fan.

I have preset MJ playlists on my iTunes, and was thinking I would see a comeback concert a some point of my life.

RIP MJ.

Being an avid Twitter user, I actively pursued every media and news outlet seeking information about MJs passing. I was so surprised, so bewildered, so confused! I was in DC at the time, doing some work for the Children and Youth Investment Trust Corporation when I received the news. I mean, I know the ways I have felt when family members die and this was not comparable, but I was APTLY surprised to realize that I really felt some kind of way about Michael's passing.

Since that time, I have to admit that I have been potty swirled into the never-ending coverage of "BREAKING NEWS" regarding his death. With numerous tributes, (yes I watched the BET AWARDS and yes I would call it an epic #fail), and even more news reports, I can't help but be consumed with MJ Mania at this point. However, the good news is that this whole set of circumstances has set me and 1000s of others back to his music, back to the videos, the dances, the lyrics, the remarkable musical genius of Michael Joseph Jackson.

There are a number of things I have come to realize about Michael Jackson and his relation to world.

1. There has not been a world renowned music artist that has touched the variety of political, emotional, and philosophical questions that he has: (source)

futhermore, on Thriller he spoke abt teen preganancy, gang violence, challenging the social constructs of manhood, the culture of gossip, emotional blackmail, obsession, false accusations of paternity, and belief in one’s self

2. Michael's songs spoke volumes about himself and in the very near future I am sure some over ambitious and deeply creative college student is going to publish a thesis on the lyrical analysis and psychological profile of MJ. Just look at the lyrics to "Have you seen my childhood?": (source)

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

3. I honestly believe that the Michael Jackson story is a case of a real life Benjamin Button. At a very young age, Michael was forced to be very adult about his business and his work and many have criticized him later in his life (I can't believe I just said that) for having childlike tendencies. Just watch:

4. Lord Acton is credited with saying. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." but I think in MJ terms and the phrase "Absolute FAME corrupts ABSOLUTELY" makes complete logical sense. I believe that other than Jesus, Allah, Buddah, no one else at this time is this completely famous throughout the entire world regardless of class, religious affiliation, social context or WHATEVER..that kind of fame, I am now certain is not good for any HUMAN and certainly not for 45 years of life.

5. The Truman Show was funny to watch, but seeing it play out over 45 years of time in real life is absolutely tragic. --- The Story of MJ - At least he had the first 5 years of life in innocence, right?

Lastly, I need the world to remove the title "King of Pop" from Michael Jackson. This man has contributed so MUCH to the world of music that the title does not do him nor his work any type of justice. Though Quincy Jones is one bad muthasucka.... its working with MJ that thrust him into the world of "popular music".... when you think about it, what genre of music was Michael Jackson..... quite possibly his own. He holds a patent, he owns the Beatles Collection (at least half according to Sony), he's enthroned in Africa (I can't recall the village name), he has the number one album of ALL TIME and continues to set Billboard records after his death. Elvis? Can't even shine his patent leather loafers! Michael called attention to the famine in Ethiopia, donated over $25 million dollars to the UNCF and did more humanitarian work publicized and unpublicized than most of these stars even attempt to do these days.

I know that MJ suffered tremendously in his earthly life, I just hope in my heart of hearts that he has found PEACE in his transition from this life.

FOR SOME AWESOME POSTS ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON:
Greg Tate, The Village Voice

Phonte killed em here.

McCafe Dwele's Tribute

Partying With a Purpose - Life Unchained DELAWARE

Greetings Friends and Family!

I am writing this letter to invite you to become personally involved in an amazing opportunity for volunteerism, activism, and social networking. Over the last few weeks, I have been introduced to a nonprofit organization call Life Unchained. Life Unchained is a social / service 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in southeastern Pennsylvania that starts unique, first-time projects in the community. Life Unchained is looking to expand into Delaware and I have applied to take on the project.

Life Unchained provides funding and resources for local chapters to sponsor social events to raise money for charitable causes. For example, members can sponsor car washes and bar nights to support a middle school softball time. The organization firmly believes in "partying with a purpose". I found this as an amazing opportunity to for anyone college-age and older to remain socially active while participating in volunteerism and other charity work.

In order to get this chapter off the ground and functioning, I need volunteers to work in the planning and organizing of social and volunteer events. The chapter can easily attach itself to other organizations that are already working on projects or projects that the organization would like to start on their own. I have contacted you all especially, because I believe that you would be great people to be involved in this project. Any and all forms of support would be greatly appreciated.

I am planning an information session to be held in Newark before the end of the month. If you are interested in working with this chapter of Life Unchained or would just like to find out more information PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP (via email, phone, text, IM, smoke signal, whatever is easiest). I need people who are interested in being active members, social event coordinators, volunteer coordinators, and various other leadership roles.

For more information about the organization, please visit http://www.lifeunchained.org/.

Thanks again for taking the time to read this email and I hope that you are able to support this endeavor of engaging our community in "partying with a purpose"!

Monique Liston
moniqueliston@gmail.com

Lemonade Diet Day 2

Today was not as easy as the first day. I meant for this to be more of a spiritual journey. In my preparation, I prepared mentally, physically, and spirtitually. I believe I will make it through. It is helpful to be kept busy while at work to prevent my mind from drifting away to food. Amazingly enough, I don't really ever feel "hungry" but I do feel like I WANT TO EAT, not NEED TO EAT....I have a bit of headache this morning, and I havent been drinking the teas at night. My justification for this is that I often drink the last part of my lemonade near bedtime and I just don't feel like drinking anything else! Hopefully I will get to it tonight, since I premade my tea and all I will have to do is drink it. The first two days I used Organic Maple Syrup B but that is way more expensive than the molasses so I went to Newark Natural Foods (shoutout) and got a gallon of molasses syrup, so I will have to do this again! Now for that morning internal salt water bath....

Lemonade Diet Day 1

Ladies and gentleman....

for those of you who do not know, today is the first day on my detox journey. I have amassed all the necessary materials for my detox and am patiently awaiting to inherit my Beyonce body....

well, maybe not.

The purpose of the diet is to detox, which I could surely use after 9 months of alcohol, $.35 wings, spinach dip, and happy hour foods.

But most importantly, I just finished one of the roughest semesters of adult life and the stress and all the bullship that has happened this far in 2009 has surely built a muddy bank against the walls of my colon.

So far....

SO GOOD.

diversity project

DO YOU KNOW YOUR STATUS??? I'M NOT TALKIN FACEBOOK!

In releasing the first report on the AIDS epidemic in 2007, city officials laid out an action agenda calling for a "modern response" to a "modern epidemic." Two years later, little has changed except the name of the problem -- which city officials now refer to as a "generalized and severe epidemic," and just in case you don't know the difference between the two, the latter involves infection rates "higher than West Africa." - Washington Post March 19, 2009

"Our rates (Washington, DC) are higher than West Africa," said Shannon L. Hader, director of the District's HIV/AIDS Administration, who once led the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's work in Zimbabwe. "They're on par with Uganda and some parts of Kenya."

1 in 90 African American women is infected with HIV.

HIV/AIDS is the number one killer of African American women ages 25-34 says the Center for Disease Control.

http://www.rapituppresents.com/

MONIQUE LISTON FOR UASA PRESIDENT!

I FOLD, THROWIN IN THE TOWEL, WAVING THE WHITE FLAG..... dag

"Any writer, I suppose, feels that the world into which he was born is nothing less than a conspiracy against the cultivation of his talent - which attitude certainly has a great deal to support it" - James Baldwin

So far, 2009 has been the WORST year in the history of my life.

I am desperately trying to seek the worth of all these situations, but I can not.

Sitting at my desk, mulling at how much of mess my life has become (I was thinking academically at that point), I picked up my book of Famous Black Quotations.

Lo' and behold.... JB spoke to me.

What struck me first was: "feels that the world into which he was born in nothing less than a conspiracy against the cultivation of his talent" - this whole week as I have been attempting to catch up in my classes I felt like that this is why I am so misunderstood. I recognize (from JUMP!) that this program isn't built for me so I can not expect it to cultivate all of my intellectual needs, but as I attempt to be a scholar within the program I feel like defeat is inevitable. I have never been in a position where this was perpetually the case and because this is school I do not know how to deal.

:::::sigh::::::

back to work.

----------------
Now playing: Talib Kweli - In The Mood (feat. Kanye West & Roy Ayers)
via FoxyTunes

10, 5 & Now

I saw this posted on Facebook and I just had to steal it cuz I can't believe that I am old enough to have 10 years ago-memory. absolutely crazy.

Where have the last 10 years gone?

10 YEARS AGO...it was 1999

1) How old were you? 12

2) Who were you dating? Kyle Lawrence

3) Where did you work? African Hut @ Summerfrest!!!

4) Where did you live? Milwaukee

5) Where did you hang out? Northridge, Brown Deer YMCA (everyday!)

6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? no

7) Who were your Closest friends? my cousins! and Nicole and Meaghan and of course SKEETS!

8) How many tattoos did you have? None

9) How many piercings did you have? 1 in each ear

10) What kind of car did you drive? negative

11) Had you been to a real party? nope

12) Had you had your heart broken? lol.... hell yes DIANDRE!

13) Were you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? depending on the time of the year.... Dee and I acted like we were about to be married....

14) Any Kids? NO

5 YEARS AGO...it was 2004:

1) How old were you? 17

2) Who were you dating? Lawrence

3) Where did you work? Target!

4) Where did you live? Milwaukee

5) Where did you hang out? Mayfair and ya'll remember Lucky's!?!

6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? no

7) Who were your Closest friends? Caura, Amber, Kim, SKEETS of course

8) How many tattoos did you have? 0

9) How many piercings did you have? just 1 in each ear

11) Had your heart been broken? yall don't kno the half

10) What kind of car did you drive? RIP "Nova"

12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? mostly single.... perpetually singe

13) Any Kids? NO

It is TODAY...2009:

1) Age? 22

2) Where do you work? Delaware State Legislature

3) Love your job? love? i dunno. I am ready to graduate

4) Where do you live? Newark, De ---- who woulda thought

5) Who are you with? Tyler

6) Do you talk to your old friends? yeah for the most part

7) How many piercings do you have? 6

8) How many tattoos? 3

9) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? no

10) What kind of car do you have? 2005 honda civic

11) Had your heart broken? Yes

12) How many kids? 0

13) Are you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? taken.... FINALLY

Day N Night - Kid Cudi

though I didn't love the CD....

Jazmine Sullivan is BOMB live. Check it out!

the bestie reminded me of this...

you have to love the guitar----

Drive - Incubus

yup, this is how it goes down @ SU

How to WRITE a QUICK and STUPID Scholarship Essay 101

1. Do not plagiarize.
2. Make up a real nice story.
3. Find a quote and run with it.

At the age of 4, through the help of my persistent mother and passionate grandmother I learned to read. At the time, I was not aware of the importance of this event; all I knew is that I could now understand words in their written form. Though I had learned to read at home, when I began kindergarten my teacher used the time-tested methods of understanding letters and sounds before learning about words. The method used at my school was focused around Abrams and Company’s Letter People. The Letter People were thirteen males and thirteen females designed to help beginning learners to recognize the sights and sounds of the English alphabet. I would consider this method one of the most effective because I can definitely at any given moment be found singing one of the catchy Letter People theme songs, especially my favorite, “I’m Mr. Mmmmmm, with a munching mooooouth!!”

The Letter People taught me everything I needed to know about letters and phonetics and I am more than grateful for that influence. However, the most important lesson I learned from the Letter People was a lesson on perseverance. Each of the Letter People suffered from a terrible ailment that was given to them following the rules of alliteration. For example: Mr. C had a colossal cap. Mrs. T had tall teeth. Mr. F had funny feet. Each of these characters had to deal with a physical abnormality as a part of their everyday lives.

Though learning to read at home was a phenomenal occurrence, my childhood was not always filled with such heart-warming experiences. There are two distinct timelines of my life. I had to deal with an unemployed mother who suffered from clinical depression and a father that battled alcoholism. I can recall many days after school wondering who was going to pick me up or if I was going to have to stay alone in after school care. I have lost three grandfathers. I have seen Alzheimer’s take away my great-grandmother and I am watching it overcome my grandmother. I have worked three part-time jobs while being a full time college student and have worked a fulltime job to support myself and help out my three younger brothers. All the while, I have been nothing short of an excellent student for the last 18 years. I have been recognized nationally as an athlete and scholar. I earned academic scholarships to Brown, Marquette and Howard. I have been blessed with the opportunity to meet some of the most influential thinkers of our time such Baba Asa Hilliard III, Dr. Gregory Carr, Cornel West, Toni Morrison, and Michelle Obama. The negative experiences in my life allowed me to be ferociously independent and nurtured a personality dependent on scholarship and academia as a means of escape and serenity from distressful situations. Any teacher or parent would pray that their students would seek the same opportunities for solitude.

As I became a literacy tutor in a classroom similar to one I was in almost twenty years ago, a young girl by the name Malia was quite distressed at how awful the lives of the Letter People are. She said to me, “I would never want to grow up and be in the Letter People! They all have lots of problems!” At first, I laughed at the little girl’s bitter realization; however, I quickly figured that in her mind she was totally right; the Letter People did have a lot of problems. Yet, life’s lessons and the tales associated with each of the letter people have taught me that colossal caps make for excellent hiding places, tall teeth make it easier to chew food and funny feet allow for interesting adventures and curious conversation. Malia’s exclamatory statement gave me the opportunity to share with her how true an old adage really is; when life gives you lemons, it is indeed time to make lemonade. Each of the letter people turned their seemingly difficult handicap into an opportunity for them to share and discover.

So in retrospect, using my impeccably fresh 20/20 hindsight, I reflect upon Condoleezza Rice, the most intriguing black woman in political history, saying, “It is a dangerous thing to ask why someone else has been given more. It is humbling—and indeed healthy—to ask why you have been given so much.” All of my issues and problems have indeed formed and shaped me into the woman I am, but more importantly I must count each one of them as blessings, opportunities to discover and develop, to grow and share, and to live and learn. From this I have ascertained that I can not dwell on the presence or consequence of either timeline alone, for the product of the two, the woman who sits at her desk in Legislative Hall as she writes this, at the juxtaposition of bad and worse, continues to thrive. There is no point in dwelling on the hardships that any one person has dealt with in our lives. I conclude with a quote from one of the greatest examples of perseverance the American culture has to provide to human history, Fredrick Douglass. He once said, “A man is not great because he has not failed. He is great because his failures have not stopped him.”

22.5

Yesterday, I celebrated the most important birthday in a girl's life:

22.5

Yes, ladies and gentleman, 22.5 is the midterm exam of the 2nd most insignificant year of your life, 19.

and I had an absolute blast!

nothing beats toasted wings (right, Maylonce??)... a plethora of alcoholic beverages courtesy of my future husband, Dustin (sorry ty!, but I don't think tyler even looks at this anyway....).... and a mix of songs that have you dancing for 3 hours straight....

No ma'am.

Can I just say this was the highlight:



followed by the best picture of the night:



Spring Break is going to be a BLAST. woooooooooooooooooooooo.

the hottest thing on iMEEM...

more than an alumni of HU.... I'm a byproduct of DC!!!

Jay-Phas Go-Go List

a video for you

woooo! i memorized this poem today!

forgive the incorrect punctuation (I hope I get it right)...

Well son, I tell you life for me ain't been no crystal stair
its had tacks in it
and splinters
and boards torn up
and places with no carpet on the floor,
bare.
but all the time
I'se been a climbin on
and reaching landings
and turning corners
and sometimes goin in the dark where there aint been no light
so boy
dont you turn back now
don't you set down on these steps
cuz u feel its gettin kinder hard
don't you fall now
for I'se still goin, honey
i'se still aclimbing
and life for me
ain't been no crystal stair

ESE NE TEKREMA

Apparently, according to www.quoteland.com, Muhammad Ali at some point in his life share the following with the world:

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

Over the last year, if I learned the most about anything, I would claim that it was FRIENDSHIP.

Friendship isn't a sappy dappy mutual feeling between two people like portrayed with Precious Moments figurines. Friendship, like any other relationship, is a conscious decision to be a part (not dictating how large or how deep) of another person's life.

I realize that friends COME and GO. They show their true colors when you least expect it. Friends are always there to screw you when you need it least.

However, friends also know exactly what to do to make you happy.

Friends call your mom when you are getting out of line.

Friends share the bottom of the bag french fries with you...(not completely give, but share, I mean this isn't about lovers...lol)

I want to take this time to shout out a few of the people that I have SHARED as BEST friends....

Anoa: My sister!!! I love you sooo much. You are the most amazing woman on the planet, to bad the rest of the world doesn't know it YET. just you wait, the time will come. you need to be wherever I end up so I can send my children to your house to learn about their ancestors, exercising rites of passage, and being amazingly awesomely cool. (maybe I can see if Zack Braff can play at my wedding reception...so it can be like u know Zack Braffy....)I miss you tons! In the end all we have are TURKEY TEEPEES!!!!

ReeRee: I know she will never read this... but if you ever met a woman how is going to make sure you are taken care of REE is the one. Thank you for being an awesome friend to me when I needed it and when I didn't deserve it. I'm happy that your happy... and little does the world know that Nick Cannon is your personal dj... I love you REE!

C-Fit: Dag....I take that back (silent wow)....Yo. We've been friends since the year 2000.... from short hair to long hair to natural hair to no hair... lol from KSwiss to Timbs in every color to Dunks... and through the years... we've ALWAYS had the GAP!!! In the end, I'm glad that I always have someone in the illMill to hold it down when I grace the state with my presence.... hopefully I can still be in the wedding!!!! I love you Caura!

Rashid: my parallel universe twin. You are the definition of being there when I need you. If I need help or need to vent or just want to make an obscenely politically incorrect joke... you are ALWAYS there for me.... unless I ask for too much in one day...lol

SommerWommer: I name drop your name like Usher drops his pants on stage!!!! We share a lot and have served as sounding boards for one another numerous times over the last few years... THANK YOU. Thanks for carving out an amazing path in life that I can easily follow!!! Thanks again for always willing to be my safe haven, clutch, and weekend getaway!!! I love you Sommer Wommer!

Mr. Urn: Out of anybody me and you probably have the longest list of inside jokes that two human beings could ever have... and I am happy that we shared every moment!!! *Sept. 24* I love you, Apeeeezy!!!

Junior: You are the definition of a good time and a life saver all wrapped up in to one.... that would make you like an alcoholic sweet refreshing beverage, right? Hands down, all of my MESSIEST moments in life occurred in your presence and I wouldn't ask to have it any other way. Leave room for me in your apartment in case I might have to move in again... best roommates ever! I love you, JUNIOR!!!

PJ: Man you already know! I am so excited what life has in store for you in the next couple months and I am HONORED to be a part of the whole thing. You, my friend, are destined to do BIG THINGS (in your words: RAW SHIT) in the next few years. I'm all about it, wreck that, get some SOD, build this house and make me a happy woman. lol you got it boo... I LOVE YOU PJ!!!!

There are a rack of others but shout outs (quickly!!):
Ronald (my fave funeral director), Shakir(hbcu love!), Courtney(long lost sis!!), Jaminnia (long lost little sis, Dexter, Lucretia (4606B! lol), Malia(DE sucks), Candice (if i could type me exhaling you would get it), Graceanna (i will never forget what you said when I didn't get to go to SA), Derrick (always ready to help to drown my sorrows lol), Parmesean (I miss hanging out cuz!), DT (i miss the hell outta you...come visit me), Mikal (thanks for visiting me!), KaReemy(thanks for visiting TOO!!) and last but of course not least my DC mother Anita... THE BEST ADOPTED MOTHER A GIRL COULD ASK FOR!!!

In retrospect, I have some unbelievable


people i can call FRIEND

*the adinkra symbol above is "the teeth and the tongue"

the symbol dictates friendship. the teeth and the tongue are both in the mouth and may cause conflict for each other, but in the end they know THEY NEED TO WORK TOGETHER.

I love my friends....



----------------
Now playing: The Foreign Exchange - happiness
via FoxyTunes

does HE love like SHE loves?

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart... 'Tis woman's whole existence." - Lord Byron

(the following is an overgeneralization I admit, but so it most questions and debates on philosophies... don't get froggy on this one yall....unless Lord Byron is from Delaware.....)

Despite whatever neo-modernist humanistic philosophy-isms we choose to believe, I believe that there are some inherent differences between males and females. Besides the obvious biological differences, women and men have different rationale and approaches to life which includes the pursuit, receipt and deliverance of love. Lord Byron uses the aforementioned quote to dictate this complex difference in the simplest of terms.

To men, love is extraneous, a variable, yet not the entire equation. It is the icing on the cake of life, the sugar in life's cup of tea. Love is not an integral part of a man's life. It is indeed a thing apart.

On the other hand, women, take every opportunity of their living to define love; how they want to pursue, how they want to give, and how they want to receive. There is nothing separate in a woman's life from love. Living is loving. Love is woman's whole existence.

An argument could be made, I suppose, that would claim that man's insistence on having love as a thing a part as an action of love within itself, thus making the statement false and the claim of gendered differences on love refuted....

Is this love "actioned" difference a defense mechanism.... women give birth to children so are the innately doomed/blessed to be consumed by love in all manners of their life? men do not give birth to children, all they can do is support and provide for children (not that women don't as well) so does that make them unable to have their livelihoods entangled with love?

I think that this isn't just characteristic of heterosexual love relationships either. I think that male to male and female to female relationships may even display the difference more clearly.... I won't delve deeper on that but think about it.....

So is the quote true? Is love a thing apart for the men and the whole existence of women?

you want 25 facts?? here you go... take this DELAWARE and shove it!!

Nothing beats a warm summer day with no work to do. Hands down (like 6:30, yun).

Today was our little taste of spring here in the dirty D E eeeezy.
Though the taste of sunshine was refreshing, it did not automatically put me in that "mmmm hmmm" feel good mood like in the past. After careful deliberation, I can only come to one conclusion for the lack of enthusiasm for living on this beautiful day.


*DELAWARE FLIPPIN SUCKS*

Now, I have come to this conclusion based on the following:

1. it is Delaware, and in general, people know that it sucks.

2. nothing of any relevance to my human existence is within walking distance of my home

3. no free super cool places to go to, look at, take pictures by, talk about...etc...

4. when the sun shines, I still don't care

5. club? GTFOH. never happening.

6. I have to go to another state to catch an airplane

7. tolls. booooooooo.

8. car insurance is more expensive here

9. it does not have "The Diner" - in affect, all places that are not Washington, DC suck because of this

10. people can not take public transportation to my house, if you don't have a car, you can basically never surprise visit me

11. i have to beg people to visit

12. no one goes "Ohhhh you live in Newark, DE??? That must be fuuuuuun!" EVER.

13. groceries are mad expensive here

14. the eye candy is few and far between, you probably won't see University of Delaware on the Top 10 universities with "pretty" people.... shallow? yes. a reason nonetheless? OF COURSE.

15. people kill themselves here. thats enough alone!

16. halfsmoke?!??

17. A BEEF PATTIE!?!?!?!

18. there is 1, i repeat ONE, Target in the entire state

19. zero sales tax is irrelevant when there isn't any fun places to shop

20. i have never spent this much time in front of a computer screen in my natural born life

21. WalMart is far away too

22. again... no public transportation for my life!

23. no local news.

24. no local anything on television. Good morning Philadelphia! MYPHi Wake Up, Philly.....

25. I can still hear 92.3 in my car





*LISTEN TO KNOCKS ME OFF OF MY FEET - STEVIE WONDER
a feel good goodie

Shout out to Darren Cole!

Check out the following video by a close personal friend of mine Darren Cole.

I love when my network of extremely talented black men shine.

BEE TEE DUBS.... ladies, let me know.... lol!!!


Fres & Dj Shortround- Locked & Loaded from Darren Cole on Vimeo.

Fres & Dj Shortround are a mc and producer duo from Milwaukee. I was given the privilege to shoot their first music video.



For more information on them:

www.djshortround.com

www.myspace.com/fresthao



tech specs:

Sony Hvr-a1u

Century Optics fisheye 0.3

Lowel tota light kit

Going to Meet the Man - James Baldwin, 1948

Today, I had the pleasure of listening to Nikki Giovanni share her thoughts about cancer, family, friendship, death, and love. I love listening to poets speak. However, there is something special, something uniquely beautiful about a wise (wise with age and experience) black woman sharing her thoughts and ideas about life and the world around us. I love (I need a new word!) that I always see members of my family or people that I know within the spirits of other black people. That is so comforting. I believe that feeling speaks to the continuity of culture within the black community. If anyone ever said it was real, I said it.

Anyway, Nikki spoke on so much and in true africana fashion her speech was dynamic yet simply and quite plainly cyclical. It ended in a need for healing and clarity and a writer (poets) quest to solve those issues by writing. So she found healing in love and wrote a book of love poems called "Bicycles". She read a few poems from the book, they were wonderful my favorite: "Deal or no Deal". Buy the book if you come across it.

During the whole night with Nikki, which I was happy to partake in since school has yet to impede upon my life, I kept thinking about PJ... what he means to me and why he means so much. I love him and that is clear as day. and Nikki shed some serious light on the subject of love and emotions in general. Love is relative. No one can love like I can and no one will love me like they love somebody else. On the same note, that allows or even more clearly defines the inherent differences between sympathy and empathy. When a parent dies, a child is sick, a love is lost, I can easily sympathize with a person but it is impossible, literally for me to empathize with anyone and their feelings on any given situation. I am me, they are they and that is that.

Nevertheless, I know that I love PJ and everyday (may be a slight (very slight) exaggeration, but I have come to realize that is the beauty of story telling) he gives me another reason to appreciate his presence in not only my life but in the world in general. Apparently, he had an assignment to read the short story "Going to Meet the Man" by James Baldwin. For those of you who are not aware, I am a nerd, so when he said he was looking for it online to read, I quickly found it and read the story for myself. I guess my only point in mentioning that is to say we both sat, sideway glancing in the webcam via iChat and read the story. Copying and pasting points we wanted to make and exciting moments and overall...being nerdy. I love I have someone to do that with.

Since my reading has been slacking in 2009, I figured that I would take the time to reflect on some themes in the story. I need to write... it is February 7 (happy birthday boo!) and I have yet to sit in a class at the University of Delaware, this winter session stuff is BLOWING ME.

the story describes how a white man came to into "being", into being the man that he is. i want people to read it, its short so click the heading title to find all about it.

The story speaks on

sexuality

as a definition of masculinity

was a big, healthy man and he had never had any trouble
sleeping. And he wasn't old enough yet to have any trouble
getting it up—he was only forty-two. And he was a good man,
a God-fearing man, he had tried to do his duty all his life, and
he had been a deputy sheriff for several years. Nothing had
ever bothered him before, certainly not getting it up. Some-
times, sure, like any other man,


as a definition of humanity

he knew that he wanted a little
more spice than Grace could give him and he would drive over
yonder and pick up a black piece or arrest her, it came to the
same thing,


as a spectrum

the story mentions a variety of times what was arousing to the main character and what wasn't. sexuality in this story is not THIS or THAT, its a continuum of definition and relativity


hate

as a learned behavior

the author shows in the story that behaviors are not innate, especially behaviors relating to hatred, they are acquiesced possibly, but innate, not at all

as an excuse

an excuse for your own tragic flaws, mistakes, shortcomings....

it was a good read. if you have 30 minutes to spare.







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Giraffapuss