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Raw Food Fast - Day 1

Breakfast! (and lunch!)

Dinner!

Twice during 2009, I embarked on a spiritually, physically and mentally rewarding experience: The Master Cleanse...

My first time, was also my first time fasting. Never had I made a commitment to actually taking the mental steps to separate myself from food. I last only 72 hours... and then found myself at happy hour...

The second time was the week before my birthday. Committed to shedding old feathers and emerging RENEWED I cleansed for a full 7 days. Very rewarding....

THIS TIME... I'm going the raw food route. Organic juice and all the fruits and veggies a young woman could ask for...

my apologies for the over dependence on the ellipsis. (i rhyme and rip i rip and i rhyme... haha)

Anyway, the day started out well. I spent one million dollars on fresh fruits and veggies that I am dedicated to eating for the next week. I had a bowl of fruit for breakfast and the same thing for lunch. However, as I routinely need to be reminded, my life nor my DAILY existence is my own, Oludumare and a host of others had other plans for me.

All is well. I am fed. I am blessed. I'm ready for the world... *cue Jamie Foxx*

Hopefully I can get more creative with my menu throughout the week but I have scholarship that I need to FOCUS on!

How do I feel?

Great. Awake. I was slightly sluggish this morning but was easily inspired to get back up and continue my day. The only issue I'm having is that I am quite...hmmm...*vaporous*. I'm gonna chalk that all up to toxins tho!

o daa ro!

When I think of home...

I love my family.

Over the last few years, as I have come to grips with the notion that I am in fact a woman. A woman responsible for bearing the responsibility of fostering and nurturing human life. A woman responsible for creating a home. A woman responsible for the growth and development of (many) children.

I can not shirk it.

Sooner or later, my rockstar lifestyle inclusive of raunchy rhythm and blues and one-night stands with books, will have to end. Maybe not completely... but my priorities will shift from my own personal (and somewhat guilty) pleasures to the well-being of my family: my husband and my (the) kids.

But what does that actually mean for me?

I'm young and by no means (trapped) in a relationship that is forcing me to seriously consider these things, but it is something that I think about.

Where do I wanna call home?

It is no secret that I dropped Milwaukee like a dirty roach infested rag when I graduated in high school and I've been making sweet melodious love to the east coast ever since.

BUT...
my family is in milwaukee.

When I say family... I mean MY FAMILY is there: mom, dad(s), brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmomma, grandma grace and host of other people that watched (lovingly) me grow up. AND...I'm always the first one to trump the family card. "YOU ALWAYS HAVE YOUR FAMILY. WHAT U GON DO WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY? HOW U GON TREAT YOUR FAMILY LIKE THAT?" So I understand the necessity of surrounding yourself with your family. Living amongst them, depending on them, supporting them and being a PART of the family unity.

I hate Milwaukee.

Hate is a strong word, but I deem it absolutely necessary. I cannot see myself living there without being miserable. I'm not saying anywhere on the east coast is where I'm gonna be but I just can not go to Milwaukee.

but why Mo? WHYYYYY?

First, I'm going to say that my undergradate experience (HU! YOU KNOW!!!) created a monster with me. A monster that needs constant nourishment of fresh oceanic seafood, exposure to peoples and cultures all over the world, emancipated minds, and liberated souls. Second, I've created a familial unit out here. I've got brothers and sisters out here who I need my kids to learn from. I need them and I like to think they need (or at least want me around) as well. Lastly, I'm naturally nomadic. I love to move and experience new places and I'M NOT DONE YET...

but where does that put me?

I've got two families that are very very important for me. I need them both to survive. I need them both to care for me. I need to have consistent access to them no matter the circumstance. I will always live up to my responsibilities no matter what. If mom dukes makes the call and says I need to come home... I'll be there in the quickness.

i am growing up (despite my efforts to remain a youngin forever) and there has to be a real consideration of how i PHYSICALLY place myself in relation to my family (all aspects). It becomes extremely pertinent when I think about doing Ph.D. work. That is a serious time commitment a serious commitment to a space and nurturing myself within that space.

space.


My response to how I handle this situation, how I effectively juxtapose myself between my desires and my responsibilities...will be a test of my GANGSTA...you know what other folks refer to as CHARACTER.

To sum the situation up: "Character is the courage to meet the demands of reality."


just some thoughts... i know i haven't blogged lately. #blackhistorymonth scholarly writing fail.

slacking on my macking

this made my day....

so, presently I'm standing
here right now
you're so demanding
tell me what you want from me
concluding
concentrating on my music, lover and my babies
makes me wanna ask the lady for a ticket outta town...

so can I get a window seat
don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
a look around
and a safe touch down
can I get a window seat
don't want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
a chance to cry
and a long bye bye..

but I need you to want me
I need you to miss me
I need your attention, yes
I need you next me
I need someone to clap for me
I need your direction
somebody say come back
come back baby come back
I want you to need me
come back come back baby come back
come back come back baby come back
come back come back baby come back

so, in my mind I'm tusslin'
back and forth 'tween here and hustlin'
I don't wanna time travel no mo
I wanna be here
I'm thinking
on this porch I'm rockin'
back and forth light lightning hopkins
if anybody speak to scotty
tell him beam me up..

so can I get a window seat
don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
a look around
and a safe touch down
can I get a window seat
don't want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
a chance to cry
and a long bye bye..

but I need you to miss me
I need somebody come get me
I need your attention
I need your energy
I need someone to clap me
I need your direction

somebody say come back
come back baby come back
come back come back baby come back
come back come back baby come back
come back come back baby come back

but can I get a window seat
don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
a look around
and a safe touch down...

I just wanna chance to fly
a chance to cry
and a long bye bye...

this thing called love

"However, my understanding of mutual love tells me that it's most likely to grow where the parties involved relate affectionately not merely to each other, but to something shared that transcends and includes them." - Ayi Kwei Armah Eloquence of the Scribes (p. 163)

I have had the most fantastic weekend.

I love my sisters.

It aint over yet, either.

I know you're jealous.

I'm about halfway through Eloquence of the Scribes and though I do not know if my calling (responsibility) is to write as of yet, but I will say that Armah be SPEAKING in this text on some REALLY REAL type SH*T. Pardon the language, but if you are so inclined to engage yourself in his work, I am sure you will understand what I am talking about.

I am not the one to "name" all the various types of love. One HAS TO admit that the english language does a great disservice by only providing one word to describe the variety of relationships that on this earth. Honestly, how can one honestly use the same word to describe the passion that they have for their career and the respect and enamor an individual has for their spouse. It can't be done. It simply does not make sense.

With all that being said, lessons in this thing called love abound in our daily lives if we choose to accept them for what they are worth.